To the Moon/Transcript
(Accept mission) Jack: So, YOU survived your little trip in the Moonshot Cannon, which got me to thinking -- what if we just used that thing to send everybody everywhere? That'd be freakin' sweet, right? I am gonna need more test data, though. One of Zarpedon's soldiers wants to defect to our side, so... why don't you convince HIM to go for a ride in the Moonshot Cannon? (Approach soldier) Jack: There's a lucky winner! Ask him if he'd be up for trying out a moonshot ride. (Talk to soldier) *'Athena (if present):' Would you like to be shot out of a cannon at several hundred miles per hour? *'Wilhelm (if present):' Wanna get fired out of a big-ass gun? You'll prob'ly die! *'Nisha (if present):' Feel like being blasted out of a space cannon with no protective gear? *'Claptrap (if present):' Would YOU like the opportunity to scream through the skies at hundreds of miles per hour courtesy of the Helios Moonshot Cannon? *'Jack2 (if present):' Hey, uh -- d'you wanna jump into a Moonshot Cannon and be fired at a planet? *'Aurelia (if present):' Would you like to be fired out of a Moonshot Cannon? It's quite fun. Defector: Uhh... no? Jack: Alright, fair enough. I guess when you put it that way it does sound like a stupid-ass idea. Just... find a way to get him into the moonshot shell. I don't care how you do it. (Use console) *'Athena (if present):' Does this button do something? *'Wilhelm (if present):' Let's press some buttons at random. *'Nisha (if present):' Eeny, meeny, meiney... *'Claptrap (if present):' Perhaps THIS button will do something! *'Jack2 (if present):' Oh. Wonder what THIS does. *'Aurelia (if present):' Push like so... Defector: HOLY CRAP, PIZZA PARTY! Jack: Aaand gotcha! Defector: What the hell?! LET ME OUTTA HERE! Jack: Now, just digistruct my experimental guidance system onto the shell. It'll override the default navigation and, uh, let me run some tests. (Use console) Jack: Alright, now follow the container upstairs, make sure nothing happens to it. Be careful that guidance thingy stays in one piece, or who knows where this thing'll end up. Defector: You LIED to me! THIS PIZZA ISN'T EVEN REAL! (Use console) Defector: Nobody lies to me about pizza! NOBODY! Defector: This is Private Ferro, requesting extraction at the moonshot facility! I have been captured by Jack's Vault Hunters! Dahl Soldier: Vault Hunters?! All units, converge on that location! Jack: Ah, crap. The little dork asked for help. Just protect the guidance system while the container gets loaded into the moonshot. (While on conveyor) Jack: Well, they're shooting the guidance system. No big deal if they break it, but, just so you know, the dude'll probably die. But, you know. Whatever. Jack: Protect that guidance node! Jack: They're hitting the guidance system. Defector: Let me outta here! Is this how you treat your own troops?! Defector: Once I get outta here, I'm gonna cram these digitized slices down your throat! Defector: I don't wanna go to the moon! I friggin' hate the moon! Defector: Somebody help me! Friggin' Vault Hunters are gonna shoot me out of a cannon! Jack: The shell is loaded! Fire the moonshot! (Use console) Jack: Ahah, alright! Hey, guy? You make it? You alive? He's probably fine. Anyway Vault Hunters, I got a reward for you. Jack: If you got time, feel free to check the moon's surface. See if the dude made it through. (Enter landing place at Chunder's Hole in Triton Flats) Jack: Hehehehehe, he died cause he liked pizza. Makes you think, though. Or something. I dunno, I just felt like saying something. (Turn in) Jack: Actually, now that I think about it... maybe we should have used the robots. Category:Transcripts